The Wilks Story
One Dictionary. Two Oceans. 59 Years.
By Larry Wilks
It is March 1965. Larry, a Russian linguist with the Air Force, had just arrived in West Berlin, Germany. The Berlin Wall had gone up a few years earlier. All of Berlin was 110 miles inside of East Germany which was controlled by the Russians. The Wall had been built right through the middle of the city. People from the east were still being killed trying to escape communism. It was like a dark cloud hanging over the city.
He right away located the church he had learned about. Not too complicated—a bus ride with one transfer and then a few blocks to walk. The church had been started by missionaries who went to Germany after WWII. There were about 50 members, mostly made up of American military families. There was also a German speaking congregation which met in the same building. When one group met in the auditorium, the other group met in the basement for bible classes, and then they would switch.
Sonja arrived in Berlin that summer to attend a business college. She was from a small, quaint village about 50 miles northeast of Frankfurt. Her parents were divorced and after high school, she had come to attend a business school. Her father, step-mother, and their two children lived in Berlin. They just had a one-bedroom apartment. There was a Canadian lady living in the same apartment building, and her father rented a room from her for Sonja. The lady, Betty Roemer, had met up with a group of missionaries at Harding College and came with them to Germany after WWII. Betty was going to be gone for the summer and had learned of an American student, Elsa Pepperdine, who had just finished a semester at the Pepperdine University extension campus in Heidelberg. She wanted to come to Berlin to attend an extensive German language course for the summer. Betty invited her to stay in her apartment, telling her that a young German was renting a room from her and they would be good company for each other.
Elsa was very outgoing and bounced back and forth with the young people from both congregations. One Sunday Elsa and Larry were talking and learned that they both were off the next day so they decided to spend the afternoon at a large park there in Berlin. (Some would say that was a date.) Later that afternoon they had just arrived back at the apartment when Sonja arrived from school. Elsa introduced Larry to Sonja. It was love at first sight . . . for Larry that is. Sonja does not remember that introduction. She does remember meeting him, perhaps a couple of weeks later when she went to church with Elsa. As they entered the building, Larry had squatted down on the floor, interacting with several little kids. That scene made a favorable impression on her. As the summer progressed. Larry started attending some of the German services, and on several occasions managed to sit next to her. They didn’t speak a common language. She had no interest in this American guy. Elsa started organizing the young Americans and the young Germans to occasionally go out after church services—bowling or just to go grab a bratwurst and get ice cream. On several occasions it seemed that Larry and this other American, Merlin, were vying for her attention. She had no interest in either of them at the time. After Betty returned at the end of the summer and Elsa left, Betty would frequently have some of the American young guys over for tea and desert. Larry and Merlin always seemed to be in the group.
Larry had dated another German girl, Petra, about three times. It seemed like she wanted to get married. Larry didn’t, at least not to her. He had dated a girl back in the U.S. prior to his arrival in Berlin. They had written for a while after his arrival in Berlin, but she was a senior in high school and they had mutually agreed to put their relationship on hold since he would not likely be returning to the U.S. anytime soon. He stretched the truth a bit by indicating there was someone back in the States, just to back out of further dates with Petra. Some time later, the preacher’s son, who was 16, invited Larry home for lunch after church one Sunday. His mother had invited Sonja. It did not appear that this was planned, as they traveled separately on public transportation. After lunch Larry, Sonja and the four preacher’s kids, road bikes and played soft ball together. That evening they all arrived back at church together for evening services. Petra was in the building when they entered, and she unleashed a verbal attack on Sonja, telling her not to fall for Larry because he was engaged to a girl back in the States. Sonja had no idea what she was talking about, but later on, she wondered why Larry kept pursuing her attention since he was engaged. She eventually confronted him about this. He denied that he was engaged, but she was a little more wary of him.
Still, at this point, Larry spoke practically no German and Sonja, no English. Not long after this, Betty invited the preacher and Larry for a quick lunch after Sunday services, as she and the preacher wanted to go into East Berlin to visit some church members there. Since they were not German, they could come and go across the border. Betty wanted Larry there because of how it might look to neighbors, having a man come into the apartment. Betty suggested to Larry and Sonja that perhaps they could go to the zoo. After lunch Sonja cleared the table, and Larry followed her into the kitchen to help with the dishes. It suddenly started to rain, so the zoo was out. So what was she to do with Larry? Well, he had brought some records so he suggested going into the living room to listen to records. Was this all part of his plan? In the course of trying to communicate, Larry had taken out his little dictionary and asked her to marry him! He would later claim that he was trying to ask her thoughts about marriage. She clearly heard in her mind, “Will you marry me?” She started crying and went into her room and closed the door. (She heard from Petra that he was engaged and now he is asking her to marry him?). The only thing that Larry knew to do was to leave.
The Air Force put out a notice that they would offer a three-month German language course in January in Wiesbaden. One had to get a certification from his supervisor that learning German would be beneficial to your job. Larry applied and was accepted. Unfortunately for him, Merlin also applied and was accepted. So, the competition is still on! However, a week or so later, Larry got orders for a transfer to Japan. Dismayed, after work he went to let Merlin know that he would be leaving; therefore he saw no hope of winning out. Merlin, of course, was elated. Larry then went that evening to let Betty and Sonja know. It was obvious, at least to him, that Sonja was really sad about that news. Shortly afterward, he did ask her out on a date. They went to see a funny movie and then went to a restaurant for dessert. There was an air of sadness as each of them tried to process the situation. The language barrier was too big to be able to discuss things. It seemed to Larry, a mountain too high to climb. He escorted her home. A couple weeks later, he was leaving Berlin on the troop train. Several people from church came to the train station to see him off. He avoided direct contact with Sonja because he was heartbroken. As he boarded the train, he turned and their eyes met. It appeared she was tearing up. He had a big knot in his stomach. He didn’t even give her a goodbye kiss. She went home and cried all night. He wrote his first letter to her that night on the train, telling her how much he loved her and that he didn’t know how or when they would meet again. Still, he hoped they could. Separated by a continent and two large oceans, would there ever be a way?
“Separated by a continent and two large oceans, would there ever be a way?”
Sonja answered his letter, and soon they were writing to each other almost every day. It would take hours for him to translate a two-page letter. He soon wrote a friend back in Berlin to get the message to Sonja that she should buy a German-English dictionary, as he didn’t want Betty reading his love letters. Eventually, he proposed to her . . . by letter. He didn’t get her answer for a month, as the mail took two weeks to travel from Japan to Germany and then two weeks back. SHE SAID YES! He decided to call her. He told the base operator that she needed to cut him off a $50. That was pretty expensive in those days, for what ended up being about a ten-minute call. They still couldn’t understand each other very well. They both understood, “Ich liebe dich” (I love you). She cried during most of that call.
Though he really liked his job, he loved her more. He could have gotten a re-up bonus of almost $12,000 and a guaranteed reassignment back to Berlin, but at that time, if you married a foreign national you lost your security clearance. He would forfeit the bonus and would be reassigned to a different job. He didn’t feel that he could get a good job in Germany, not speaking the language, and felt it best to stay in the U.S. when he got out. He instructed her to go to the American Consulate to apply for a visa to come to the U.S. She did and soon learned that since she was planning to live in the U.S., she would require a “no preference immigrant visa” and would be assigned to the quota system. It was a long, complicated process. It ended up taking ten months to get the visa.
Engagement Rings: since she would be leaving her country to marry this foreigner, Larry felt it would be important to her to at least have an engagement ring to show her friends and family. The custom in Germany was to have matching wedding bands. When you were engaged, both wore the rings on the left hand. Then, during the wedding ceremony you switched them to the right hand. Larry sent pictures of some rings, and Sonja picked out the one she wanted. Rings were purchased, and he went to the base post office to mail hers. He asked if there was a way to learn what customs charges, if any, would be, and if they could be paid on the front end. He was informed that jewelry could not be sent from Japan to Germany. The only way he could do that was if he had an individual on the other end who had a military APO address, and the declared value was no more than $25.00. The only person he could think of who had an APO address was Merlin. Sonja had written that he had gotten engaged to the daughter of a Pan American Airlines pilot. So, Larry sent the ring with a little money to buy roses along with a letter of instructions to present, by proxy, the engagement ring to Sonja. OUCH! Merlin was a true friend.
So one day Merlin appears at Sonja’s door with flowers and a small package. She was taken back at first until he explained that it was from Larry. She thanked him and retreated to her room and “got herself officially engaged.”
Finally, Sonja got the notice from the American Consulate that her visa was ready to be picked up. There was a lady from church whose daughter had married an American, and they lived in Huntsville, AL. She wanted to go visit her daughter and take a lot of things to her. She told Sonja that it would be a lot cheaper to have excess luggage on the ship than on the plane and suggested they get a cabin together and travel by ship to New York. Her daughter had a friend in New York who was a travel agent. She made travel reservations for Sonja to fly from New York to Oklahoma City where Larry had settled after his discharge and for her to fly to Huntsville. The travel agent could meet them at the pier and take them to the airport. The date was set. The ship should arrive on Saturday morning, November 4, 1967, in New York, and Sonja should arrive a 6:30 p.m. in Oklahoma City. Generally, mail from Germany to Oklahoma City took about ten days. On this occasion, after the ship left Bremerhaven, Germany, it made one stop in France and Sonja mailed a postcard indicating that she was on the way. Surprise! The postcard didn’t arrive until the morning Sonja was to arrive that evening, so Larry knew she was on the way. He had his apartment spic and span, had flowers in the apartment, and bought roses to take to the airport.
Larry arrived at the airport early and checked the arrival screen. Her flight should be on time. Her plane finally landed and people began getting off the plane. Eventually the crew got off the plane and reported that no one else was on the plane. He went to the ticket counter and learned there was no way to check passenger lists to see if perhaps she was rerouted to another flight. Their only suggestion was to meet all the planes coming in from the northeast. He would meet flights, and if there was enough time, he would drive back to his apartment to wait for a phone call. He did that a couple of times. Around midnight, he was told there would be no more arrivals until the next morning. He went home and lay across the bed, still fully clothed, wondering what happened. Did the ship sink? Did she miss her flight? Where and how could he call New York to see if the ship came in? At about 2 a.m., the phone rang. He rushed into the living room to pick up the phone. A lady with a German accent on the other end said, “Mr. Larry Vilks?”
“Did the ship sink? Did she miss her flight? Where and how would he call New York to see if the ship came in?”
“Yes”
“There has been a mishap.”
“What? What kind of mishap?” Every possible mishap flashed through his mind, even though it must have been only a few seconds before she continued. She explained that as the ship was pulling into the harbor, Sonja was in line at the ship’s bank to exchange her German marks into dollars. When she opened her purse, she realized that someone had stolen all her money. The airline ticket had not been paid for yet! Her travel companion, by canceling her flight to Huntsville, had enough money for both of them to go by bus to Huntsville, so that was the plan. She delivered them to the bus station. They would call when they got to Huntsville. He thanked the woman and hung up the phone but immediately picked it back up. Too late, it had disconnected. Where in Huntsville? He needed a name and a phone number.
When the call finally came, Sonja was on the line, but Larry had a hard time understanding her. She then passed the phone to her friend’s daughter. He got the address and phone number and told her he would leave right away to pick her up. He drove all night and arrived about 10 a.m. It was a happy reunion but still awkward since they had a real communication problem. After lunch, they headed west. He could hardly stay awake but was determined to make it at least to his parent’s house in Arkansas. They arrived about 2 a.m. and got them out of bed. They didn’t have a phone so his parents had no idea what had happened. Sonja said they stared at her like she was from outer space. Larry got in bed with his younger brother and fell asleep right away. Sonja shared a bed with Larry’s younger sister but did not sleep a wink. She needed to go to the bathroom but none was in sight. Larry had failed to tell her they had an outhouse. At 6 a.m. Larry’s mother got his sister up to get ready for school. Sonja also got up and decided to follow her. Okay. There was no indoor bathroom. Larry’s mother started breakfast—sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy. A typical German breakfast would be rye bread with cheese and cold cuts but never a heavy cooked meal. Sonja could not eat it. Larry’s mother couldn’t understand a thing Sonja said, so she headed toward the bedroom to wake up Larry, over Sonja’s objection since she knew how tired he was. After lunch they left for Oklahoma City and arrived about 6 p.m. The summer before Sonja left, there was a group of college students from Oklahoma Christian College touring churches in Germany. An older couple, Morris and Dorothy Fowler, was touring with them. When they learned that Sonja was going to Oklahoma City, they invited her to stay with them until the wedding. The Fowlers had contacted Larry when they got home to report they had met Sonja and told him of their invitation. Then Larry started attending the same church they did, and they quickly became close friends.
Larry dropped Sonja off at their house and told Sonja he would pick her up when he got off work to show her where they would be living. The Fowlers soon learned that Larry didn’t have much money for a wedding and knew that Sonja’s money had been stolen. Sonja wanted a church wedding. The date was set for November 18th. The Fowlers and other friends put a nice wedding together for them, providing flowers, wedding cake, and a nice reception. Morris Fowler walked her down the aisle. The college kids who had met Sonja in Germany, sang at the wedding, two songs which were in German. Larry’s parents, a brother, and a sister came from Arkansas; some cousins who lived close by came, along with several people from work and church. Though fairly simple, it was a beautiful wedding.
A few days before the wedding Sonja’s extra luggage arrived by REA EXPRESS, C.O.D. Then they went to the grocery store to buy groceries for the next two weeks. By the day of the wedding Larry had only $5.00 and two weeks until pay day. After the wedding as they walked toward their Volkswagen Bug, which had been thoroughly decorated, Morris Fowler handed Larry $25.00 in case they might want to get a hotel for the night. GOD IS GOOD.
For the first few months they really had to work hard on the language issue. Within six months Sonja’s English had improved greatly as she learned how to pronounce all those words she had been writing. Both knew that they needed to put God first, and if they would do that, everything would work out. They have two framed needle points hanging in their house. One was a wedding gift to Sonja’s grandmother when she got married in 1902. It reads, “Wenn trubsal einkerht nicht versage es kommen wieder bess’re tage” (When trouble comes your way, don’t despair, better days are ahead). The other was a gift from an antique dealer. He had no clue what it said, but it looked similar to the one he had seen on their wall. It reads, “Ich und mein Haus werden dem Herrn dienen” (I and my house will serve the Lord.)
This was just the beginning of a life full of adventures in their 59 years of marriage.
Larry and Sonja have two daughters, ten grandchildren, four great-grandchildren, and another one on the way. Four of their grandchildren married spouses from four different countries. One son-in-law was born in Italy, and one of their granddaughters was born in Mexico. That makes eight different countries of birth starting with Larry and Sonja and moving on down the line. And they all blame Larry and Sonja for starting all of this craziness.
“Both knew that they needed to put God first, and if they would do that, everything would work out.”
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